ABSOLUTE ASCENDANCY

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Commencing operation . . .

Overview

With lockdowns in place across the world, it is no surprise there has been a surging rise of loneliness across the globe. Even before the pandemic took place, there has been an increase in loneliness in the past decade. Despite the widespread use of technologies which have the capability of facilitating communication, irrespective of distance.

As it is Loneliness Awareness Week, I wanted to take some time to talk about loneliness. What I perceive to be the problem and how I believe people can manage their feelings of loneliness.

Why is it that even though humanity theoretically is more connected than ever before, people feel more alone?

Firstly, consider the following question.

Is the feeling of loneliness itself a problem?

My answer is no. Emotions are a mechanism the body uses to guide our actions. The problem is that humanity, on the whole, does not respond well to the feeling of loneliness. People commonly turn to things like dating sites, nightclubs, alcohol and other external sources to try and relieve their loneliness. People continuously use their smartphones, browse their social media sites, and partake in a whole assortment of nonsense activities, which ultimately result in nothing.

The problem is to do with the nature or quality of the connections people are regularly making. The current day and age is filled with a constant connectivity conundrum. All beings inherently want connection, but there are many people in the world today that cannot attain this desire through their day-to-day lives. 

Therefore, they turn to technologies to fill the void for them, not realising that such measures are fleeting at best. This creates a never-ending vicious cycle whereby the user feels the need to continuously rely on their smartphones and social media to feel interlinked with others. 

The nature that this type of connection provides, however, is a stopgap solution at best. Using technology to fulfil connectivity is like trying to fill a bucket with a massive hole inside. No matter how much time you spend trying to find connectivity through shallow interactions online or otherwise, in the end, just like the bucket, you will be left feeling empty inside.

There is a widespread phenomenon defined by the term ‘fear of missing out’, which desperately drives people to seek connectivity with others. It is a fear born from the possibility of regret that life will pass by or that opportunities will be missed if they are not constantly kept in the loop.

The fact is, however, humans require both connection and independence, and when that balance is upset, it negatively affects our health. Let me tell you this right now. Taking the time out to tend to your needs at the expense of missing out on some ventures, may very well lead to lost opportunities.

However, I can assure you that when the right moment does present itself to you, if you are not in the best of health to take the reins, it will slip through your grasp, and that would be the greatest tragedy of all. Think in terms of quality, not quantity.

Learn to be comfortable in your own company

What if I told you loneliness is a problem each individual must solve by diving within?

Rather than seeking solutions outside of yourself through largely pointless endeavours, take matters into your own hands and seek solace within.

You need to learn to be comfortable in your own company. 

You cannot rely on others to fulfil your emotional needs all of the time. The balance between connectivity and independence is skewed and requires recalibration. Now more than ever does humanity need to learn to seek solace within to re-establish harmonic balance. Now is the perfect opportunity to develop a solitary lifestyle, while the world is in lockdown.

Black Box is an entire book dedicated to showing my path to solitary living which explains in great detail the steps I have taken, which you can use to incorporate periods of voluntary seclusion into your life and provide significant benefits.

• Lessen your reliance on others
• Become comfortable being with yourself
• Clear the mind
• Develop the relationship with yourself
• Connect to the void of infinite potential
• Remove yourself from any undesirable situations
• Attain mastery of control over your emotions

As an immediate call to action, because I do want to provide you with some instant value, one thing you can do is schedule some time into your diary and dedicate that slot to be spent entirely on your own.

It can be ten or fifteen minutes, but half an hour is an ideal starting point. During that time slot, you disconnect yourself from the online world. Turn off your phone and stay away from social media. There are plenty of activities you can do on your own, consider a few examples below.

• Read a book
• Clean your home
• Exercise

Ultimately it is the response to the feeling which needs to change, not the emotion itself. The next time you feel lonely, stop and consider what kind of response is in your best interest. Sometimes it legitimately does point to an increase in human interaction. Other cases, however, may require a counterintuitive approach – to distance from others and take time out to reconnect with yourself and bring balance from within.

No, you’re not normal and that’s a blessing

I figured it would also be a good idea to tell you a bit about myself so that you can perhaps understand where my perspective and insight originates. Growing up and even to the present day, I felt misunderstood at times, by society, by friends and even by family. 

In my younger years, this led to feelings of loneliness and the fear of being rejected by society for being radically different from the norm. I was always unusual and unorthodox and struggled to fit in with other people. 

This rift only grew as I aged. I was an outcast. Most of my peers wanted nothing to do with me. My friendships were few, and sometimes I felt disconnected even from them. At one point, my mother even said that she had no idea where I came from, with the implication that I was some sort of alien who somehow inhabited a human body.

I was also bullied a lot during my secondary educational years, which shunned me even further away from other people. It reached the point where I would spend my lunch break reading books or roaming the premises like a lost soul instead of trying to interact with the other students. “You have no friends” or “Nobody likes you.” Such phrases were commonly directed at me.

I have an older brother, and while growing up, I felt that my parents paid more attention to him because he was more athletic, had better grades, and was popular. At times, I felt neglected as I basically thought that he was better than me in every way. When I was very young, I remember sometimes hiding away in a closet and quietly crying away, overwhelmed by the sense of loneliness. Feelings of resentment, disappointment, and rage also accompanied me during those years, but there is no need to delve further into those emotions at this particular moment.

All of the above forced me to learn to appreciate my own company at an early age, in a crash course manner. It took time, but eventually, I was able to find true solace in solitude. I was able to develop an intimate connection with my inner working mind. I no longer needed to seek validation from others. 

I was perfectly content to simply do my own thing and march to my own rhythm. I came to terms with all that happened in the past, and whilst I will probably always be a bit of an outcast, an unconventional fellow, it no longer bothers me. In fact, I appreciate it. It is what defines my uniqueness within this world.

Even though I spend much of my time alone these days, I appreciate all of the wonderful things and great people I have in my life. In fact, because I take the necessary time out to tend to my needs, the quality of my connections with others is greater than what it would be if I spent too much time with them. 

Beating Loneliness Together

I hope you have found this article useful. The perception of loneliness is a widespread and genuine threat to humanity. Many suicides are conducted due to a sense of loneliness, so if you know anyone who may be struggling, please share this message with them.

If you do take on the isolation challenge I outlined earlier, let me know what activity you end up doing and how it worked out for you in the comments below.

Mission complete – Overlord Drakow signing out.