ABSOLUTE ASCENDANCY

Commencing operation . . .

Overview

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re with a group of people trying to reach a consensus on some topic and more often than not, your input gets swept under the rug? Alternatively, you’re having a conversation with someone, and you can’t seem to get your ideas across to them effectively? It’s not always easy to have your suggestions considered in earnest, your thoughts taken seriously. I know in my younger years, I had a particularly difficult time working in group projects as I rarely had any real sway in the direction of the assignment. This also transitioned to the times where I was hanging out with other people, the vast majority of the time I followed the crowd and went with whatever everyone else wanted to do, even at the cost of not doing what I wanted. I have read through Dale Carnegie’s book on How to win friends and influence people and over the years, I have adopted a few changes which have allowed me to have more influential power when interacting with others. Below I share 11 tactics to get taken seriously.

1) Understand the ultimate objective within the group dynamic
2) Get knowledgeable
3) Use of language
4) Get into shape, both body and mind
5) Take others seriously first
6) Have the courage to admit your faults
7) Let them think the idea is theirs
8) Add the “Wow” factor
9) Appeal to higher motives
10) Compromise
11) Challenge

1) Understand the ultimate objective within the group dynamic

Allow me to humour you with a bit of hyperbole to demonstrate my point. Let’s say you’re hanging out with some friends for the day. The group decides they want to go out and play some sport in the park. They are deciding which game to play, but then you shoot the suggestion to stay indoors and watch a film instead. Most likely, you will get shut down because your idea is not in cohesion with the group dynamic. By first assimilating what others have to say and then having your say, you can adapt your plans to try and determine the most optimal outcome for the group. You need to understand the motivation behind the opinions of other people in the group if you wish to rally them to your side. It is not only what they say, but it is also why they say it. So if you are unsure, ask them why they have made that suggestion and in doing so, you can use that information to construct your ideas better so that when you do state your opinion, it is more likely to gather support.

2) Get knowledgeable

If you become the subject matter expert in any particular field within your group, chances are people will turn to you for your advice, without you even needing to express yourself proactively. This, in turn, can create a knock on effect where people will start listening to your opinions or coming to you for suggestions, even in topics unrelated to the field where you initially proved yourself knowledgeable. If this does happen and you can objectively advise such people then go ahead and do so. If the new topics that people inquire about are unfamiliar to you; however, I do not recommend you to try and bluff your way through such topics and potentially give misleading/sub optimal suggestions. For if it is later discovered that you had put up a front, it will severely damage your reputation with your peers. Just be honest and say you’re not sure and perhaps point them to some other source where they might procure the answers they seek, either a person you know who has the specified knowledge or to the internet.

3) Use of language

Employing the use of language effectively is an art form. How you speak can make or break any ideas you throw out to the group. Effective speaking requires an awareness of the dynamic of the group you are talking to. It would be best if you adapted to your target audience because the same approach probably won’t work on all types of crowd. Sometimes you’ll have to be more direct and assertive in your speech, other times your communication approach might need to be more subtle and refined. If you know the people well enough, you can even appropriately articulate yourself by using words and phrases that are likely to draw people to your ideas. For example, given that I am into gaming, consider the following two statements.

“Make sure you think about the long term implications.”
“Ensure you keep in mind your end game.”

Even though the two statements are necessarily the same in terms of general meaning, I am more likely to resonate with the latter because of the use of agreeable language.

4) Get into shape, both body and mind

Although not so obvious, you are more likely to be taken seriously if you are in good physical shape. For better or worse people will judge you based on your appearance. Put it this way, If an unfit person came up to me offering advice on fitness, do you think I am going to listen to them? Alternatively, if someone who is struggling with depression came up to me and told me how to deal with an emotional situation that I might be in, would I listen? Hell no. Sure, the advice given could be entirely sound, but why would I take the recommendation that the same people issuing should be taking themselves to sort out their problems? Please take your own medicine before dolling it out. Sort your own life out first before trying to help others. People like that lack consistency in their approach. There is a direct link between the health of the body and the mind, so sound knowledge is more likely to be spoken by people who have healthy bodies and minds. The paradox to all of this is to be humble and willing enough to learn from anyone. Sometimes that means learning what NOT to do, rather than what to do. Both are of equal importance. This isn’t a foolproof ideology either. Just because someone isn’t physically fit, doesn’t mean they can’t give reasonable advice but commanding a powerful body creates a sense of magnetism as others will more naturally be drawn towards you and subsequently what comes out of your mouth. Don’t abuse this though because if you start spouting nonsense, your magnetism will lose its effectiveness.

5) Take others seriously first

It’s a two-way street. If you want to be taken seriously, you first must try to understand the other people in earnest. This means you must have the ability to listen to not only what other people are saying but how they are saying it. This will allow you to comprehend better where others are coming from. It also means to show respect for the viewpoints of other people and to refrain from out-rightly shutting them down. Once they realise your openness in attitude, they will likely show you the same in kind and be much more likely to consider your perspectives. If however, you try to force your way with blatant disregard to anything else, you will be met with resistance piled upon even more resistance, and you will end up getting nowhere.

6) Have the courage to admit your faults

Yes, it takes courage. Human pride can be a stupid thing, and it takes guts to accept accountability for your shortcomings. When you do this, people will respect you and this, in turn, will make them take you more seriously.

7) Let them think the idea is theirs
This one can require a bit of subtlety, and you may not end up getting the credit, but if you are results driven, that should not matter to you. The idea is to plant the seed of suggestion into the recipients and then let them germinate the concept into fruition for themselves. People are much more likely to be sold onto an idea if they believe it is of their design.

8) Add the “Wow” factor

First impressions are powerful. They can make or break relations. The same can also be said for ideas. If people are not receptive to your suggestions, it may be that you need to change your approach into how you present your idea. Marketing companies will test numerous advertising campaigns to find which one best sells the product or service they are marketing. While you probably do not have the means or time to implement such methods, understanding what appeals to your target audience can be a doorway into realising how best to put across your suggestions. Individuals have their preferences on how they like to receive and retain information. Audio, visual and kinaesthetic are the three methods of learning so tailoring your approach to present your idea with a supplemented presentation, for example, could be a way of winning over people who like to have a visual conception of the plan.

9) Appeal to higher motives

This tactic employs the use of making an ethical claim behind your suggestions. By appealing to a higher calling of some nature, you are more likely to sway others to your cause. This is, of course, assuming your morals coincide with the people you are conversing with.

10) Compromise

Sometimes negotiation is necessary to attain a result that is desirable by the majority, even if you end up as the minority. It’s unlikely you will always be able to leverage your preference in a group dynamic. You may not be able to win them all, but with the ability to compromise, you can try and create a partial victory which should be better than not having your way at all.

11) Challenge

This is a good one to use to see if the people you are trying to win over can rise to the occasion. By igniting a sense of competitiveness within people, they are more likely to be spurred into taking action. Just be sure that the atmosphere you create is geared towards a constructive end. Misused, people will take the challenge with the mindset of proving you wrong, and this will lead them to take you less seriously in the future.

Conclusion

So there you have it. Eleven ways to improve your chances of being taken seriously in whatever group dynamic you happen to find yourself. If you find an opportunity to do so, give some of these a try and see how they work for you.

Mission complete – Overlord Drakow signing out.